New Jersey Camp

The Staff Talent Show

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Photos and Articles by Matt Lurrie

It has become a tradition here at Campus Kids that every first Thursday, the staff puts on its own staff talent show. This year, however, we made it a staff and camper show.
	The chapel of Centenary College was empty in anticipation of the massive amounts of campers who would soon arrive. The stage crew, consisting of Jeremy and Sam M., who would go on to control the sound, were wrapping up the preparations.
Almost instantly, the chapel was swarming with campers eagerly awaiting the performances by both camper and counselor to come.
	The hosts for the evening were Villani, Donald, Floyd, and Jimmy (from left to right). Before each act, they entertained the audience with a bevy of acts, ranging from failed attempts to perform talents that were about to come on stage to actual performances of songs, dances, and skits.
Each division was grouped so that counselors from each age group performed together. The first group to go was the American Girls.
Over a meal, Jeana once told her campers that she could peel an entire cucumber with her mouth. Her campers decided to convince her to do it on stage, and that it was a talent worth showing the entire camp.
	And of course, all great oral vegetable peelers ought to be accompanied by someone playing an oboe (Laura H.).
It was a success, and the cucumber was peeled, and sent to hungry mouths.
	Next was the Radical Red Riding Hoods with their rendition of Alan Sherman's 'Camp Grenada'.
Not all talents need be learned, or even recognized by large audiences. The next act proved this point. This 'dog training' skit featured two campers, one playing a trainer, the other, a dog. The 'dog' did a few normal tricks, like sit, roll over, play dead, and dance (as seen in the picture).
	What differentiated this 'dog' was its ability to lick its own elbow. If you think that this is an easy task, lean back a few feet from your computer monitor and give it a try,
The division skit that the American Girls put on imagined that Tom, our camp director, quit his job to pursue his dream of being a Broadway star. The remaining counselors divided up the campus, each taking parts specific to the counselors that were being portrayed (or mocked, which is probably a more realistic term).
	One particular impression that caught the attention of everyone was the uncanny resemblance of Jeremy portrayed by Virginia, who captured his quirky humor and, more importantly, wardrobe.
In the end, counselors realize that they were being selfish, and dividing up the campus was not in the best interest of the campers. With the help of the announcements song, the bat signal of camp directors, Tom returned to once again take his place as the head of Campus Kids. Next came Who-Ville.
Ben B. and Jeremy B. (no relation) put aside different last names and performed their skit entitled "Little Brother" in which the little brother, returning from camp with new songs, and Jeremy's philosophy to annoy people with them, taunts his older brother with the "Cereal and Milk" song. The older brother ignores him, but begins to sing it himself when he is alone.
	Next was Quinn singing Brad Paisley's hit 'Celebrity'. Maybe some day Quinn...
Then Mike T. did his twirling act, to the amazement of the audience.
	Then Who-Ville did their division skit. A cross between American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance, counselors playing contestants got up in front of the tree judges (Andy [left] playing Randy Jackson, Luis [center] playing Paula Abdul, and Dave [right] playing Simon Cowel).
	Several contestants performed, including the man who is usually behind the camera, but for a minute stood before it, our own web photo guy, Phil. Said Simon Cowel after his performance of the robot "I feel as if I'm in a summer camp talent show."
Where the Wild Things Are, the older girl's division, was next.
First up was Campers Wear Prada. This was an interactive skit with three choice people from the audience.
	"I need someone to help me with my hair," said one of the girls. "Who could help us?" Another girl quickly answered "I know someone: Jack, come up". It was then that Jack came up and explained, in great detail, his daily hair routine, including blow drying.
When Jack was called up to help one girl with sunglasses, it seemed as if he was about to outsmart them. "Where do you buy yours?" one girl asked. "The store," replied Jack, as he began to sit down.
	But perhaps the best roast of the night was when one girl asked how she could get help cleaning her room. Jeremy was called upon to tell them who cleans his room. To try to escape the inevitable embarrassment, he exclaimed "Staff Assistants!". This was not the case. "Really?" replied one girl, "I heard your wife cleans it for you." It did not take very long for Jeremy's face to turn a shade of red that can only be seen when looking at Mars through a telescope.
Next was Ashley P. on the violin. Playing a medley of classic rock songs that left the audience in shock. Such songs are rarely heard
	Dana E. followed with her twirling bamboo stick, which left the people in the front row breathing a sign of relief when they realized she had completed her act safely, without impaling a camper, or even worse, a photographer.
The last camper act for the girl's division was Marlena H. (left) and Trish L. (right) performing The Police's hit song Every Breath You Take.
	Finally, the counselors performed their division skit. A parody of the actual children's book "Where the Wild things Are", certain aspects of the fable were changed to make them camp-oriented. The bratty child went to bed without Frito Pie, and it took 10 months (the amount of time in between camp) to get to the place where the wild things are.
Finally, The Goonies had their turn.
A show that had thus far been mainly focused on skits and songs, dance seemed to have been all but forgotten. But thanks to Arthur B. and Beniah, and their dance medley, which left many to wonder if their arms were being controlled by themselves.
	Next was an original song by James, all about having no money, and getting a job at camp. Lyrics soon to come.
Some Super Senior boys had organized a band, and named themselves The Cheeseburgers, after, one can only guess, a favorite canteen snack. With vocals by Zack S. and lead guitarist Jack M. (featured above for his hair), the music of Sublime filled the halls of the Centenary College chapel.
Finally was the final division skit by The Goonies. It was entitled "Afternoon at the Salon."
	Due to some technical difficulties, the skit was cut slightly short.

Despite technical difficulties, The Goonies modeled their stylish women's fashions. And despite Zafer looking like an Amish housewife (below right), he is still "10 point out of 10".

And at the end, the stage was stormed by all of The Goonies, and their division song echoed throughout the chapel.

	Soon Stu, the unofficial master of ceremonies took the stage.
And after a quick shaking of the booty to satisfy the booty chants, brought upon by this camps odd obsession with camp director's rear ends, instructions for the rest of the night were given.
And with that, the talent show came to a close. The show was aptly named-everyone who performed on stage had a talent of some sort, be it musical, theatrical, or physical. And as band members carried drum sets across campus to Anderson Hall, so that camp-wide talent could play them the next day in drums, this year's first talent show came to a close.


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